“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.” Bessel van der Kolk
Hi, I'm Amrit.
I'm a psychotherapist/counsellor.
I work in an integrative way which means that I draw on several forms of therapy to work effectively with my clients. As an existentially-orientated relational therapist, I believe that a person’s early life experience may influence who we become and there is a tendency to repeat ways of relating to others. To a large extent, 'we are our choices'. When we grow into adults we find ways of coping which offer some security because they are familiar but they keep us stuck. And this is when therapy becomes important. Therapy can and does help. I would not be doing this work if I did not believe in this. It is a space that will offer you insight to how you are living your life with the choices you are making and a way forward with a new sense of meaning, purpose and substance.
Specialised Interest: Trauma and a Sense of Self/Relationships
I work with Trauma, PTSD and Dissociation as a result of a traumatic event in their lives, often from physical abuse experienced in childhood, but not always.
Trauma: how do I work?
~~ Recovery unfolds in three stages. The central task of the first stage is the establishment of safety. The central task of the second stage is remembrance and mourning. The central focus of the third stage is reconnection with ordinary life. ~~ Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery
I work by breaking down complex neuroscience jargon and making it accessible in a simple way with my clients as trauma affects people in different ways and for some, the symptoms take weeks, months or even years to surface. In therapy I work with my client to make sense of what they have been through and where they are right now. I look to process their fragmented traumatic memories so that these traumatic memories get process and are then 'filed away' in the back brain. When this happen, flashbacks stop; hyperventilating ceases. You begin to feel more in control of your life.
Sense of Self/Relationships
I am committed to working with clients who experience challenges when it comes to who they are as i.e. sense of Self and your relationships. I work with you to understand your current life as it stands and to re-establish and re-build your sense of worth/esteem. Often and most certainly after trauma your sense of who you once were, the life you once lived no longer makes sense. On a conscious level, you may be aware of your inability to manage life as it’s become all fragmented and the pieces are difficult to put together again. Trauma affects everything we once believed in and could trust. You may find that you don't recognise your own face in the reflection of a window. So I sit with you and together we look at the broken pieces and begin to understand their meaning. I will help you to reintegrate all this many confusing aspects so that you can move forwards in life with trust and live well.
~~ No intervention that takes power away from the survivor can possibly foster her recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in her own best interests. Judith Herman, Trauma & Recovery ~~
What to expect in your first session
We meet for our first session in the space I will have for you. I will ask you a few questions if I feel I need to, to help open the session as such. In these session, you would take the lead to explore issues of concern. And I will listen completely with the intention of meeting you in your world and your lived-experience. From my point of view as therapist, I am not trying to “reflect feelings.” I am trying to determine whether my understanding of my client’s inner world is correct — whether I am seeing it as he or she is experiencing it at this moment. You don’t need to have a list or an agenda for the first session or for any sessions with me for that matter. Having worked with many clients I have complete faith that all that needs to be talked about and looked at, will come to the surface naturally and ask for the attention it deserves. So don’t worry about expectations for your first session. Just turn up. And we will take it from there.
I practice from my first floor maisonette in Winchmore Hill. The closest rail station is Winchmore Hill, approx 7 minute walk (average speed), nearest tube is Southgate (Piccadilly line) – from the tube station you can catch the W9 bus which will bring you directly in front of my flat. There are many buses that come close to where I am. I am located on Hoppers Road itself and there’s usually space for parking on the road. If you have mobility issues please do talk about it with me when we first speak.
I will be here for you. I will stay. I will listen. I stick around. I am not easily scared. And I will want to help.
My fees are £50 for a 50-minute session for 1:1 therapy; £75 for two.
I offer some spaces at a lower cost.
I have a 24 hour cancellation policy; which works both ways i.e. if you cancel in less than 24 hours I may charge you the full session and if I need to cancel (due to an emergency) I will offer you a replacement session.
Where possible, please do not cancel less than 24 hours -- it’s simply not good for your karma (or for my work).
I also offer sessions via Skype or telephone if that suits you better.
Questions before we start
Please just ask. No question is irrelevant.